Why I Stopped Posting

This is my first post (other than the award posts) that isn’t a short story. I was going to avoid personal posts, but the wait since the last short story has been so much longer than intended. There have been a few reasons for this.

I suppose the main hiccup is that even though I finished Test Of Hell last fall (even before the POW series) I wasn’t entirely happy with it. After posting the first half, I realized that I want the second half to be so much more than it is. But in order to write it as well as I want to, I need to do some more research into the demonology that already exists out there and until recently I haven’t been ready to dive into the subject of demons. I also got some really great feedback from some readers who have inspired me to polish up my previous posts and add more imagery. So I’ve decided I will first do that. At the same time as this I have been inspired to get the actual novel started. Encase you haven’t read my page on The Nepenthe, the novel is meant to take place after all the short stories on this blog. In other words, the short stories have been a way for me to develop the back story to the novel I’m writing. I have made some fun progress with it, but it’s still got a ways to go.

On top of all that, I have spent the last year and a half overcoming depression and PTSD. The writing has a place in helping with that, but I’ve had to be careful not to over pressure myself to post nor let myself get too lost into it’s own dark segments. I’ve needed to take it in strides that resonate with my healing. I’m really happy to be able to say I have not hit a deep state of despair (that’s lasted more than about 10-30 minutes) for well over a year now. It’s been a slow (not easy!), but steady progress. I now have the capability of stopping the downward spirals as they hit. I’ll feel depressed for a little bit, but as I apply the techniques I’ve been practicing (a combination of many things) I find it much easier to center myself and neutralize the negative feelings, which then makes it easier to step into a positive and creative space. But that doesn’t mean that I always get the time I need in order to progress in my ambitions. There is much about life I am still learning to balance and probably much more healing left to go too. But now my vision is clearer and I’m no longer spending my days struggling with despair (I might even be moving past the anger stage of healing now!), which allows me more room to experience the things that bring me joy and grow my strength.

So while I’m working on my novel and redoing the short story posts, there are some other styles of posts that I’ve been wanting to try that are less demanding on time. It should at least keep the blog going!

As I update the older stories I will be posting the links in order at the bottom of The Nepenthe page so that they are easier to find.

If you’re interested in interacting on social media or care to see what I’m up to, please follow me on either Twitter (@HKallisti) or Facebook (Harley Kallisti writer and artist). My Twitter is far more active and the best place to stay in touch with me, but I do post some updates to Facebook too. And of course, don’t forget to press the follow button on the sidebar here if you want to read my future posts!

Thanks so much for reading,

Please return again soon ^_^

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