“You’re choosing her over me!?”
Jack and Livia stand in the parking lot outside the fast food joint.
“Liv, no. I had this same conversation with her. The only difference is that she’s willing to accept it. She’s willing to accept you and it allows me to be who I really am.”
“So everything between us was a lie,” her eyes start to water.
“No. Not at all. Just… this,” he’s unusually humble in saying so, but coming clean about it feels like the right thing to do.
“But you can’t love me that much if you’re sleeping with her!”
“On the contrary. I love you very much… I also love her,” the knot in his stomach twists. This is the first time he’s tried to be honest about this part of himself. It feels like failure. He sees the anger rise out of her confusion as if she’s better than him.
“It’s either Anya or me,” Livia states with her chin out. She isn’t about to let herself breakdown in front of him.
“Anya would never make me make that choice. It’s not about deciding one over the other. I’ve tried. I’m just not monogamous. To tell you otherwise would be a lie. If you love me you will see that.”
“How can I be sure you know what love is at all?”
“Maybe I don’t. Maybe it’s a concept lost on me. But for what it’s worth I care about you. A lot. And I will be sure to prove myself in that.”
“But I won’t be the only girl experiencing it.”
She nods slightly, failing to hold back the water in her eyes.
“I want you to be mine,” he’s as sincere as he can be, hoping this isn’t the end between them.
“I want you to be mine,” her expression turns stubborn again.
“If you want me, the real me, you’re going to have to put your high morals aside and meet me on my level.”
“This is ridiculous. Why should you be able to have two girl friends?”
“Because I know how to care for two girls, unlike the majority of who can barely figure out how to care for one,” he smirks just a little.
“I don’t want to be made the fool for the sake of your whimsical fantasy,” she turns to unlock her car door. Before she can open it he places his had over her shoulder and comes close to her ear.
“I like fucking her,” he said with an underlying aggression. Her heart drops and her nerves numb at the truth of it. He can sense this. It’s not often she’s humbled by someone. She’s usually made to feel better than other girls. He continues,
“I like fucking her just as much as I like fucking you and I am asking you to stay with me. Watching you walk away will hurt. Believe me it will. But I’m not going to chase after you or beg you, because I know I won’t change.”
She takes a deep breath then opens the car door. She sits down, but he stops the door from closing.
“Livia. You can take any time you need to think it over. My door is always open to you.”
She looks up to meet his eyes.
“I’m not sure I’m the one who needs to do the thinking. Good bye Jack.”
She shuts the door and he watches her drive away. There’s a pain in his chest. Had he made a mistake?